The "beta" version of the 7 vows needs an urgent update.

The seven vows, keeping fire as the witness,  the endless pujas that beg of the Gods to grace the couple, the severing of all ties with parents in order to serve the in laws top priority!  Archaic chauvinist statements that propagate an agenda of patriarchy need to be changed.

Can't imagine saying a yes to statements like "I vow to think as per your (the husband's views, and be aligned with you in all ideas,  thoughts and opinions."  Isn't that a violation of the constitutional right of freedom of thoughts of an individual by the way?

Log kya kahenge

The title of this blog is the underlying reason for a greater part of the happenings in the country.

From marriages &  babies to career choices, what Sharma ji next door will have to say to Verma ji is the major deciding factor.

But isn't it a problem when an individuals choices &  rights are overridden by societal expectations? Why are we pushed to stand up to the expectations of a bunch of people who are quite irrelevant? Why do we care about the opinions of others over the happiness of our close ones!

If Sharma ji's wife has a problem with what your daughter is up to,  shouldn't you be questioning his unnecessary nosy-ness instead ? If the pados ka larka looks like a hippie (happy hippie) in his long beard,  shouldn't you be shaving your own if you really mind it?

That is exactly how it has always been &  what can you do about it?

Well charity begins at home. When the judgements stop, the culture would die a natural death. Just don't be the "log" of "log kya kahenge"

I pledge not to judge the work n life of people. I haven't really stepped in their shoes!

Shaadi - A love story in disguise?

Never spent a month with "single"  as my fb status since standard 9th,  I never quite understood how the arrangements in an arranged marriage worked,  really! I had my doubts. I still kind of feel sad at the incompetence of the people whose parents need to select their life partners!

But anyways... The views were refreshed somewhat. 

There's love in the eyes of the groom in the tiny moments they share in despite the huge confusion of a wedding. There is no mistaking the administration on his face. Is it  the beauty of the day,  the special decking up of prettiness? Or is it indeed a true meeting of the hearts?

The tenderness of offering her a hand to get up on stage, the quick whispers under the pundits monologue of mantras,  those glances and the constant look in the direction of the radiance of his bride. Following her around the fire in close embrace, romance is evident as the electricity builds with each chant.

What tells them she's the one?  What helps them decide they can make it good for the whole lifetime? How did he know she's the one for him?

Is this what they mean by love at first sight?

Guess it takes a life time to figure out 

XOXO

Marriage or superstition?

From the Pandit ji at a wedding came the claim, there is no divorces in the marriage of the sanatan dharma. *laughs out loud*

His words far from being secular reeked of a religious bias of a magnitude I had never encountered before now. Pride for one's rituals should not be at the cost of demeaning else's. There's absolutely no data to prove the claims of dear Pandit ji. The only thing divorce data shows is that the graph is rising.

The Hindu marriage is the purest form of conjunction? The Christians just aign a paper &  the Muslims just say an yes.  Smart people yeah? Less mess,  less waste,  less efforts!The only fact in the fiction was that there is no written way to culminate the Hindu marriage. Just because the scriptures don't prescribe it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I don't know if the lack of a method for separation is synonymous to the mantras of the ceremony being responsible for the apparent "longevity" of marriage. The seven vows, keeping fire as the witness,  the endless pujas that beg of the Gods to grace the couple, the severing of all ties with parents in order to serve the in laws top priority!  Archaic chauvinist statements that propagate an agenda of patriarchy. hese need to go.

A taboo it still is,  but financial independence is steadily empowering women to walk away from unpleasant relationships regardless of their religions and that is the fact of the matter.

With immense difficulty (& lack of alcohol) I could refrain from giving pandit ji a piece of my mind,  with love from 2016. I wish I could meet him once more,  at a place other than the bestie's wedding.