The "beta" version of the 7 vows needs an urgent update.

The seven vows, keeping fire as the witness,  the endless pujas that beg of the Gods to grace the couple, the severing of all ties with parents in order to serve the in laws top priority!  Archaic chauvinist statements that propagate an agenda of patriarchy need to be changed.

Can't imagine saying a yes to statements like "I vow to think as per your (the husband's views, and be aligned with you in all ideas,  thoughts and opinions."  Isn't that a violation of the constitutional right of freedom of thoughts of an individual by the way?

Log kya kahenge

The title of this blog is the underlying reason for a greater part of the happenings in the country.

From marriages &  babies to career choices, what Sharma ji next door will have to say to Verma ji is the major deciding factor.

But isn't it a problem when an individuals choices &  rights are overridden by societal expectations? Why are we pushed to stand up to the expectations of a bunch of people who are quite irrelevant? Why do we care about the opinions of others over the happiness of our close ones!

If Sharma ji's wife has a problem with what your daughter is up to,  shouldn't you be questioning his unnecessary nosy-ness instead ? If the pados ka larka looks like a hippie (happy hippie) in his long beard,  shouldn't you be shaving your own if you really mind it?

That is exactly how it has always been &  what can you do about it?

Well charity begins at home. When the judgements stop, the culture would die a natural death. Just don't be the "log" of "log kya kahenge"

I pledge not to judge the work n life of people. I haven't really stepped in their shoes!

Shaadi - A love story in disguise?

Never spent a month with "single"  as my fb status since standard 9th,  I never quite understood how the arrangements in an arranged marriage worked,  really! I had my doubts. I still kind of feel sad at the incompetence of the people whose parents need to select their life partners!

But anyways... The views were refreshed somewhat. 

There's love in the eyes of the groom in the tiny moments they share in despite the huge confusion of a wedding. There is no mistaking the administration on his face. Is it  the beauty of the day,  the special decking up of prettiness? Or is it indeed a true meeting of the hearts?

The tenderness of offering her a hand to get up on stage, the quick whispers under the pundits monologue of mantras,  those glances and the constant look in the direction of the radiance of his bride. Following her around the fire in close embrace, romance is evident as the electricity builds with each chant.

What tells them she's the one?  What helps them decide they can make it good for the whole lifetime? How did he know she's the one for him?

Is this what they mean by love at first sight?

Guess it takes a life time to figure out 

XOXO

Marriage or superstition?

From the Pandit ji at a wedding came the claim, there is no divorces in the marriage of the sanatan dharma. *laughs out loud*

His words far from being secular reeked of a religious bias of a magnitude I had never encountered before now. Pride for one's rituals should not be at the cost of demeaning else's. There's absolutely no data to prove the claims of dear Pandit ji. The only thing divorce data shows is that the graph is rising.

The Hindu marriage is the purest form of conjunction? The Christians just aign a paper &  the Muslims just say an yes.  Smart people yeah? Less mess,  less waste,  less efforts!The only fact in the fiction was that there is no written way to culminate the Hindu marriage. Just because the scriptures don't prescribe it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I don't know if the lack of a method for separation is synonymous to the mantras of the ceremony being responsible for the apparent "longevity" of marriage. The seven vows, keeping fire as the witness,  the endless pujas that beg of the Gods to grace the couple, the severing of all ties with parents in order to serve the in laws top priority!  Archaic chauvinist statements that propagate an agenda of patriarchy. hese need to go.

A taboo it still is,  but financial independence is steadily empowering women to walk away from unpleasant relationships regardless of their religions and that is the fact of the matter.

With immense difficulty (& lack of alcohol) I could refrain from giving pandit ji a piece of my mind,  with love from 2016. I wish I could meet him once more,  at a place other than the bestie's wedding. 

Are you the Right kinda guy?

Are you willing to invite the lady for an evening of beer and the match?

Also counted in to go shopping for all the "pink" stuff for her niece?

Do you believe in the cropped hair, no nailpaint, messy t-shirt look for your sweetheart? 

Chill with the after dinner smoke? (We can mind the bedroom & move out doors if you insist!)

No raised eyebrows at any length of raised hemlines?

Would you tell your girl how hot her best friend looked at the last party?

Comfortable in splitting the bill if she insists?  

Ever bought tampons? 

Totally cool with putting on the apron & being the chef for a date night? (disastrous failures counted as a yes, that's what they invented Pizza & Chinese delivery for)

And Lastly, Are you willing to ditch the bitch (excuse me, but the rhyming) if she cant get her own doors?

If you are still reading this and answered a yes to everything above , Dude you rock! (Please leave your contact details in the comments below ;)

If you answered quite a few No's up there and are still reading this, I am sorry bro! this might be a shocker!

The right kind of men are the ones who take proper care (also of their salon appointments & co ordination between the shirts & the shoes) Well, Anything remotely chauvinist meets a *kya chutiyappa hai* attitude. Gender equality is as naturally a part of their world, as the colour pink. It is just another shade to be put in the pocket!

Proudly he poises, the alpha male of 2016! He loves shoes and shopping as much as soccer and cricket, he can cook, he can get the laundry and the kids. He loves to see his woman win awards, he's proud of everything she does. And above all he truly loves a real woman without a fantasy of what is "expected" of her! 

I don't quite understand men who dont understand their women (The different shades of pink, shoes, make up & jewellery/ accessories and their importance in life is NOT being questioned here). But yeah, isn't it kind of weird when a man cant understand a woman's comfort levels (or lack of it). I mean, accept it guys, we are made pretty docile (Big Smile), its the 21st century everyone has their free will, how difficult is it to "convince" rather than "claim"? Also isn't it a much better feeling to be honestly, sincerely appreciated than forged worshiping?

Either I am largely insane or lucky to be surrounded by men who believe in the equality of the sexes (O yes! I proudly pamper the hubby for dinners & his love for the gesture depends solely on the taste of the food). OR there is something gravely, disturbingly wrong in the way we have been bringing up our boys before now!!

I see men who are happy to see the woman beside them smiling & they'd settle for nothing less. Halfhearted agreements, dispassionate compromises don't matter to them no more. 

Rightly the true heroes, the wind beneath the wings. When its the right kinda kind he indeed does complete the woman he truly loves.  

"Mard to tum baad me banna, - Pehle insaan to ban k dikhao"

Tonight

She lay there in slumber,  amid the dark of his snores. For a moment they turned their backs on each other, when they turned back,  she knew she'd been sleeping with a stranger.

Funny thing when the world hated him she stood strong sure of love,  on the way he lost his maybe..